fired off ,from life

so..today was a pretty alone day

all my close friends r busy visitin their relatives.....

so no one..to  company me...

nd as u all know.....my proposal also got fired up

nd my lamest destiny is also working hard,to break the record.....for gettin more lame on me

saala mera saath hi hamesha aisa kyun hota hai

jab doosron ko jaroorat hoti hai,tab main kaise bhi karke unhe depressed condition se thoda bahar le ata hoon

par jab main aisi condition main hota hoon,to ek banda/bandi bhi nai poochta........

so...as i thought in my moment f new yr...

this year is also going to b a fake valentine for me

not a single hope...seems to b comin....from my love......

aisi ladki se pyaar ho gaya, jo .....meri feelings ko itne jokingly leti hai..ki i just som times feel like ,beating my heart in a brutal manner...:(

sai hai yaar waise.......solitudal life hi best hoti hai....

bas...apne se pyaar karo,kisi ko bhaav na do,duniya jaye bhaaad main....roz vicks laga k so jao...

so...now ...as maine apni life ka love to ek hi noob pe luta diya

so...its time to concentrate other things in life....

ab agar.kabhi samjhegi mere love ko,to shayad mera 3 main e 1 dream poora ho jaye

nai..to baaki 2 dreams hi poora karne ki koshish karoonga....:)

aaj health ,thodi kharab hai.........headache hai,eyes red hain,throat choaked hai,both hands main chot hai...

baki sab to mast chal raha hai life main,as always......

aaj ek bhi text nai aya uska....so us wajah sse thoda aur health kharab hai.....

she's a pretty sweet nd nice girls yaar.....

kaash...wo bhi thoda sa ,soft corner rakhti mere pe....:-/

chalo...this is dedicated to her


You may be
Just a lil bit deewani
Thodi thodi si crazy 
 But baby you’re the one...:)<3

Tum jaisi  Hai na koi yun deewani (deewani)
Thodi thodi si crazy
But baby you’re the one....


feels nice...to just spend some words for her



kaash ,main use valentine's day k din call karta


nd use fir se propose karta....nd wo haan bol deti...kaash......huuhhhh


darn't me......dreamin all the times.....


mere ankhon k toote hue sapne....u know.....:(


par its ok.......she deserves a much more love then me...i guess.....

i'm just a guy who even don't know,ki morning main ,mera brush pata ni kahan hota hai....:(


she deserves a rich ......beloved nd hearty guy....not a noob like me...who even don't know....how to select good vegetables...


i'm duhhh.........i just want smile on her face......AS I PROMISED HER DAD...


bas,aur sochta hoon ki,fir se books main ghus jaoon......jaisa padaku school main tha,waisa ban jaoon


just...want to dream again....plz....


bye all.....

hey....P.S. I LOVE U


ICHE LIEBE DICH

Reckless

u know guys....

u go around strange,when u fall in love strangely with a person....who even can't b yours, in dream...

u seem to just .....feel around every day...each moment ....every morning..

what if she ,loved me .....the way i do......

i just dream about it, in evry nap that i have got....:)

but....as the eyes open.....reality seems to just brake nd shutter my dreams...like a wave in water....

its...just ...i don know...i can't explain this love feeling.......

u know...
my behaviour has changed so much....after this happened to me

from a boy ,who was so cold hearted towards girls...began to feel so attached to her
from a boy,who was short tempered....to a cold blooded guy....


but,u know.......
it feels so calm inside...like as in we feel..when we sit in church,mosque or temple/////

so.....as yesterday..she didn't came online...as her servr was dead...

so just wished him a gn text on her cell

nd then in gm wish text......

i don know....i just can't resist talkin to her.....

u know....
jab main ,doosre doston ko dekhta tha
to sochta tha..ki kaminey.....8-9 ghante cell pe kaise baat kar lete hain...

ab sochta hoon........kya sai  kismat hai saalon ki....

as....i'm just a another talkin medium for her

she..don't even know...how broken i'm

well.....its ok.....no one can compensate,for what i hav done...

so.....today..was a good day.....

i injured my hand......while......moving som good wighted granite pieces...

watched..that.....I MISS U.....sms f her....several times...

my headache..again got bigger.........cuz f those machines...


nd..that's it....

jjust missed her...like evry other day..nd that's nothin matter for her...:(

just feel disheartened.........some moments....

k...bye all...adios..ciao

hey

              P.S.  I LOVE U.....:)

Tere aa jaane se

u know..people..

yesterday .....
another time......i slept in same smiling posture......but..i slept waitin for an sms.......early at only 4:00am


it happened as...
when mehak nd i.....were just talkin .....her server tend to dc.......so
she said me to don't wait for her....via text on my phone

i think...she had some work..related to college..so said me that..

she'll text me...when finished....

so..i just kept waitin till 4:00 nd then...i don't know..when she came in my dreams......

Pal mein hi mujh ko mila pal naya

but...i was so happy........yesterday nd today.......as it matters so much to me.. 


so..today ..i wished her..good morning....though i was awaken from 7am....
but wished her at around 10....





but.....i like her while sleepin....though ,i have never seen ..in real...but i have my beliefs..:)<3
 nd moreover i didn't want to get my heart disturbed....:)


so....today..was a hectic day....

there were 2 facing machines ..cutting that hard granite stones.....nd made ,so much f noise..


that..i am having a severe headache......7 hrs f tough machinery nd sound....


so..it was worthless to bath in day time.....as it was smoke nd dust surroundin me


so..i took bath at 8:00pm


fir.thoda doston k ghoom aya.....as i needed fresh air..after this 8 hrs f so much hard noise nd pollution...:-/


ab thoda ..kam hai headache.....nd as always..missin mehak.......


nothin else ..to tell.....


i fed to new baby puppies .....that r new born nd came to me...while i was managin construction work...outside house....


they were quite hungary nd sweet...


i had a finger shake....wih them.......as..handshake can't b done.......




but..it was a nice experience....


u know...these animals watch me from eyes...as if they r requestin me for somthing....


nd i never ignore there feelings.......as there wishes do work too...:)




k...so i gotta go...as my headache is severe...nd due to so much smoke.....i'm not feeling ok


hey...

              P.S. I LOVE U....:)<3

straight through my heart

:)

sorry....i was too busy yesterday nd my condition was pretty week....nd my mom's too

cuz f the smoke...that's generated from construction work..

it was a minor headache.....

so....yesterday..

when after that drunk session ,i met with my gang

they all just pranked on me....

its just a freaky fun .....all around me...on me

but...we quite had a enjoyable moments together...as only twice a yr...we meet...


they just told me,what nd how ,i was behavin on after drinkin....

they asked me....that ....have i proposed to mehak or not

nd....then....i just ...remained quite nd they automatically understood ,what was her answer on this

but...as day before yesterday......she didn't came online.

so i just slept on my chair..nd felt down twice waitin for her

i have to change this chair now..:-/


but...yesterday.....she came onlINE

no..u'r guessing wrong

she came to see availability nd bookin f rail tickets online.....not for me..<3

so...i was just feelin solitudal

but.....i just did not pinged her....i felt as ,what she'll feel nd think..that..how awkward i am ,to do so..

as,it does not matter to her...but only me

i tried several times..to let go..nd to don't ping her

but.....this body..just is can't resist to talk to my heart...:-/

she seemed to b quite nd solitudal like at that moment...

so ,i asked her...why is she so...low

so..then..she told me..that...its her father's birthday....nd she's just feeling numb nd empty as....she has no one to share with ...

nd i know...girls have special attachment to the fathers

it felt like..real bad inside me...

noor-e-khuda..
yun na hamse nazren chupa


but..i literally can not do any thing for her...at that moment

so...just tried to make her..express nd wish nd talk to her father...for 2 small min.

so..i nd her....made a 2 min. wish moments..for her dad

i wished..just like every time.....with my whole heart

i wished..that ,may god lends her alll the sweetest things ,she want
all the things,she has crush to
may god...gave her a person.who just love like her dad,to her

just tried to tell uncle..how badly she misses him.....
nd just requested him to seek nd preserve her,with all the vitals that she need

karoon kya bhala
tumhi ko to main chahta hoon


uncle,se sorry bola
agar maine mehak ko,kisi baat pe hurt kiya ho to mujhe plz maaf karden

god se bola..ki usse itni himmat den,ki wo is kambhakht duniya se bina dare ....apne sapney jiye

may god.....just ..ease all her ways from which she will go through


nd u know..
it felt ...like really streamlined flow ,in my body
felt relaxed,happy ..

main to itna kho chuka tha wish karne main..ki jab mehak ne ping kiya..tabhi i woke up..from my wishes land

usne kuch khaya bhi nai tha......so usse thodi request ki,taki wo hungary na so jaye...

i just wanted to say to her ,at that moment ki

mehak..how hard it takes..but main hamesha tumhare saath rahoonga....

but i know..she'll never understand this....

u know.....she's THE stolid nd brave person ..i have seen..less in my life...

well,thn wo offline ho gai..lekin it was not a consciousness from her side

wo apne aap hi log out ,ho gai thi ,by mistake..

lekin ,i thought ,ki ....wo offline ho chuki hai

so...i also got offline..

fir ..main jaise hi uska gaana "hum rahen"...sunne ja raha tha ki..

ek unknown no. se sms aya.

as always..i thought..ki fir koi apne naya no. leke.....pareshaan karne wala hai

lekin..she was MEHAK...oh man....

u don't know,ho happy i was...

i just ..went fainted for some moments...stairing on my phone..at her no.

i couldn't believe ki..she texted me

nd..then..i wished her a safe night nd sleep...

and ,fir 5:40 tak...usi smile position main ..bed pe pada raha...

fir..pata ni kab neend ayi......lekin mummy ne fi se utha diya 7 baje

i was like.....first checked her no. in my phone..as if it was all like a dream...!!

then..got relaxed ..after seeing her sms....

huhh....

aaj adhe din ,to main inbox main jaake,uska sms hi padta raha,,baar baar..

aaj ka din bhy ....bahaut busy tha.....
isi liye...apne friends k paas bhi nai ja paya...

as mummy ,fir akeli rah jaati ghar pe...nd unki tabiyat bhi kharab hai thodi

aaj to ultimate wali labou giri kar daali maine..

neeche ka saara saman upar le gaya....nd it was like 60 times ...i stepped up/down from stairs ,with that all stuff

fir..wahan monkey bhi a gaye...

main to hardly...1 inch se bacha tha...nai to wo mere ko kaat leta...:(

acha hua...thoda sa bach gaya...

thanks monkey...:)

baki sab..theek raha...
poore din,sochta raha..ki kuch baaten karoon usse...via textin as callin karke to wo disturb ho jaayegi

but..didn't hav that guts to just send her sms...:(

nd now..my legs r just painin....
my upper side hand is also havin little pain..

but..its ok

atleast i worked good...:)


that's just all for now.....

hey..

P.S....I LOVE U...:)